Difference between revisions of "What is a "Hack"?"

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== Ask Dr Fixpin ==
 
== Ask Dr Fixpin ==
''WARNING:  Do not try any of these hacks at home, these hacks were carried out by a qualified professional''
+
'''WARNING:  Do not try any of these hacks at home, these are as their name states, a HACK! This is merely here for some humor and what NOT to do'''
  
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin. One of my fuses has blown and I don't have a spare, what should I do?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin. One of my fuses has blown and I don't have a spare, what should I do?
 
   
 
   
A. Duuur, wrap a wire around the blown fuse of course.  The very adventurous can wrap it in foil or you can simply use an old screw.  The current record by Dr Fixpin is 7 fuses with the wire 'trick' in a Gottlieb Freddy.
+
'''A.''' Duuur, wrap a wire around the blown fuse of course.  The very adventurous can wrap it in foil or you can simply use an old screw.  The current record by Dr Fixpin is 7 fuses with the wire 'trick' in a Gottlieb Freddy.
 +
 
 +
Update:  The record now stands at '''13''' in a Super Mario Bros
  
 
[[File:Wirefuse.jpg]]
 
[[File:Wirefuse.jpg]]
 
----  
 
----  
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a rare sample Williams Indiana Jones pin and I just can't get the flipper plates to stay on, no matter what I do.  Help!
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a rare sample Williams Indiana Jones pin and I just can't get the flipper plates to stay on, no matter what I do.  Help!
 
   
 
   
A.  Don't worry, the quickest, prettiest and best method is to screw through the top of the playfield.  You'll get much better grip as you screw down through the paint on the top.  Also it adds an extra  challenge to the player as the ball will randomly swerve around the screw.  Don't be afraid to use more than one screw either:
+
'''A.''' Don't worry, the quickest, prettiest and best method is to screw through the top of the playfield.  You'll get much better grip as you screw down through the paint on the top.  Also it adds an extra  challenge to the player as the ball will randomly swerve around the screw.  Don't be afraid to use more than one screw either:
  
 
[[File:ScrewIndy.jpg]]  
 
[[File:ScrewIndy.jpg]]  
 
----
 
----
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I suck at soldering, what should I do?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, I suck at soldering, what should I do?
  
A.  Don't worry, just flail the iron around and jab solder into it and you'll eventually get those wires connected!
+
'''A.''' Don't worry, just flail the iron around and jab solder into it and you'll eventually get those wires connected!
  
 
[[File:BadSoldering.jpg]]
 
[[File:BadSoldering.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I've sorted out the flipper problem on my rare Indiana Jones table, but it seems that the switch for the ball lock isn't working, is there an easy way to fix this?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, I've sorted out the flipper problem on my rare Indiana Jones table, but it seems that the switch for the ball lock isn't working, is there an easy way to fix this?
  
A.  Of course!  The easiest fix is to simply screw a post in front of the ball lock, thus ensuring that no one can ever have another multiball.  I can also recommend this method on the 'Casters club' on Fish Tales, but unfortunately I lost the photographic evidence:
+
'''A.''' Of course!  The easiest fix is to simply screw a post in front of the ball lock, thus ensuring that no one can ever have another multiball.  I can also recommend this method on the 'Casters club' on Fish Tales, but unfortunately I have lost the photographic evidence:
  
 
[[File:IndyPost1.jpg]]
 
[[File:IndyPost1.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q.  Dear Dr Fixpin, some rascal has ripped the side art off of my "Theatre of Magic" and it looks horrible, is there a way I can touch this up?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, some rascal has ripped the side art off of my "Theatre of Magic" and it looks horrible, is there a way I can touch this up?
 
   
 
   
A.  Easy, just grab a can of black spray paint and pretend you are Banksy.  Don't worry about colour matching or fancy stuff like that, just spray on the letters that have been torn off.
+
'''A.''' Easy, just grab a can of black spray paint and pretend you are a graffiti artist.  Don't worry about colour matching or fancy stuff like that, just spray on the letters that have been torn off.
  
 
[[File:BanksyTOM.jpg]]  
 
[[File:BanksyTOM.jpg]]  
 
----
 
----
Q.  Dear Dr Fixpin, it's me with the Indy Jones again.  Now it seems that one of the jet bumpers isn't working.  Can you take me though troubleshooting it?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, it's me with the Indy Jones again.  Now it seems that one of the jet bumpers isn't working.  Can you take me though troubleshooting it?
 
   
 
   
A.  No worries, simply pick up a screwdriver, some posts and screws.  Now screw those posts all around the broken jet bumper, stopping that pesky ball from ever getting anywhere near it.  It should now be fixed.
+
'''A.''' No worries, simply pick up a screwdriver, some posts and screws.  Now screw those posts all around the broken jet bumper, stopping that pesky ball from ever getting anywhere near it.  It should now be fixed.
  
 
[[File:ScrewIndy2.jpg]]
 
[[File:ScrewIndy2.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q.  Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a Williams Fishtales that has a few problems, I did have an issue with the casters club but a couple of posts screwed through the playfield fixed that right up!  The problem I have now is that the GI connector keeps on overheating, what should I do?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a Williams Fish Tales that has a few problems, I did have an issue with the casters club but a couple of posts screwed through the playfield fixed that right up!  The problem I have now is that the GI connector keeps on overheating, what should I do?
 
   
 
   
A.  Don't bother replacing the GI connector, that's for chumps.  What you want to do is to screw a PC fan in the backbox, blowing cool air over the connector and fixing the problem forever!
+
'''A.''' Don't bother replacing the GI connector, that's for chumps.  What you want to do is to screw a PC fan in the backbox, blowing cool air over the connector and fixing the problem forever!
(please note that the fan had been moved for access by the picture was taken, they weren't trying to cool the driver board but the burnt GI connecter).
+
(please note that the fan had been moved for access by the time the picture was taken, they weren't trying to cool the driver board but the burnt GI connector).
  
 
[[File:FanFT.jpg]]
 
[[File:FanFT.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin,  the fan idea was great!  It makes me feel like I've got a Whirlwind as well as a fish tales!  The problem now is that the connector has fallen to bits, what should I do?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin,  the fan idea was great!  It makes me feel like I've got a Whirlwind as well as a Fish Tales!  The problem now is that the connector has fallen to bits, what should I do?
 
   
 
   
A.  Definitely don't bother buying/borrowing a crimp tool and replacing the connector, that would make baby jesus cry.  Just get some weird looking black putty stuff and stick it back together again.
+
'''A.''' Definitely don't bother buying/borrowing a crimp tool and replacing the connector, that would make baby jesus cry.  Just get some weird looking black putty stuff and stick it back together again.
  
 
[[File:GiGOO.jpg]]
 
[[File:GiGOO.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, my WPC pinball keeps on resetting during a game, it's really annoying.  I've heard that this is because the +5V is low.  Is there a way to fix it?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, my WPC pinball keeps on resetting during a game, it's really annoying.  I've heard that this is because the +5V is low.  Is there a way to fix it?
 
   
 
   
A.  First off, don't worry about the troubleshooting or fixing the +5v problem.  The circuit that generates the +5V on WPC tables is really, really complicated.  I mean, it's like 5 components or something that would cost $5 to replace.  Your best bet is to just whack a PC power supply in there.  And also don't worry about disconnecting the original +5V circuit, just solder on to the +5V and GND test points on the board.
+
'''A.''' First off, don't worry about the troubleshooting or fixing the +5v problem.  The circuit that generates the +5V on WPC tables is really, really complicated.  I mean, it's like 5 components or something that would cost $5 to replace.  Your best bet is to just whack a PC power supply in there.  And also don't worry about disconnecting the original +5V circuit, just solder on to the +5V and GND test points on the board.
 
(I've seen this fix multiple times, it makes me weep inside each time.)
 
(I've seen this fix multiple times, it makes me weep inside each time.)
  
[File:PCPSU.jpg]]
+
[[File:PCPSU.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I work in the Data East pinball division as an artist and I would like to know how to spell "Grand Prix'
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, I work in the Data East pinball division as an artist and I would like to know how to spell "Grand Prix'
  
A. Certainly, it's spelled "Gran Prix"
+
'''A.''' Certainly, it's spelled "Gran Prix"
  
[File:Mispelling.jpg]]
+
[[File:Mispelling.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, my mate who works at Data East says you are ace at spelling, could you tell me how to spell the word "Gauge"
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, my mate who works at Data East says you are ace at spelling, could you tell me how to spell the word "Gauge"
  
A.  Ah, you made the classic mistake there, the easy to remember rule is "A before U except after G", thusly
+
'''A.''' Ah, you made the classic mistake there, the easy to remember rule is "A before U except after G", thusly
  
 
[[File:Gauge.jpg]]
 
[[File:Gauge.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q.  Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a Sega Frankenstein that is missing the metal rail behind the flipper and consequently the balls keep on getting stuck in there!  I'm obviously too much of a cretin to fish around in the bottom of the cabinet to find it to reattach, so what are my repair options?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a Sega Frankenstein that is missing the metal rail behind the flipper and consequently the balls keep on getting stuck in there!  I'm obviously too much of a cretin to fish around in the bottom of the cabinet to find it to reattach, so what are my repair options?
  
A.  Stupid question, PUT A SCREW THROUGH IT.  Better yet, put TWO in and use the biggest b*stards you can find.
+
'''A.''' Stupid question, PUT A SCREW THROUGH IT.  Better yet, put TWO in and use the biggest b*stards you can find.
  
 
[[File:FrankieScrew.jpg]]
 
[[File:FrankieScrew.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q.  Dear Dr Fixpin,  I have a World Cup Soccer which has a broken gearbox on the football, which means the ball no longer spins round.  How would I go about rectifying this?
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin,  I have a World Cup Soccer which has a broken gearbox on the football, which means the ball no longer spins round.  How would I go about rectifying this?
  
A.  A missing gearbox, eh?  Don't be a chump and actually *spend* the $50 or so to get a brand new replacement, that would be silly.  You'd have to use Google for at least 45 seconds to find one as well.  Nope, what you need to do is just use a pinball rubber.  This has two benefits:
+
'''A.''' A missing gearbox, eh?  Don't be a chump and actually *spend* the $50 or so to get a brand new replacement, that would be silly.  You'd have to use Google for at least 45 seconds to find one as well.  Nope, what you need to do is just use a pinball rubber.  This has two benefits:
  
 
1.  It'll work for about 50 seconds, which is a safety feature as it's likely to catch fire otherwise
 
1.  It'll work for about 50 seconds, which is a safety feature as it's likely to catch fire otherwise
 +
 
2.  It'll knacker the motor, so you'll be forced into buying that super expensive and hard to find gearbox and motor assembly
 
2.  It'll knacker the motor, so you'll be forced into buying that super expensive and hard to find gearbox and motor assembly
  
 
[[File:WCS.jpg]]
 
[[File:WCS.jpg]]
 
----
 
----
Q.  Dear Dr Fixpin,  I have a Williams Hurricane where the ferris wheel has stopped working.  I'm completely clueless and would prefer the hardest and most time consuming repair option possible
+
'''Q.''' Dear Dr Fixpin,  I have a Williams Hurricane where the ferris wheel has stopped working.  I'm completely clueless and would prefer the hardest and most time consuming repair option possible
 
   
 
   
A.  Well, the stupid thing to do would be to just buy a new drive belt, as these are easily available, cheap and take about 20 minutes to fit.  What you really, really should do is spend a couple of hours 'repairing it' for no good reason.  Get the dremel out, cut the wheel in half then get the metal saw and riveter out and make yourself a new ramp.
+
'''A.''' Well, the stupid thing to do would be to just buy a new drive belt, as these are easily available, cheap and take about 20 minutes to fit.  What you really, really should do is spend a couple of hours 'repairing it' for no good reason.  Get the dremel out, cut the wheel in half then get the metal saw and riveter out and make yourself a new ramp.
 
   
 
   
 
Et voila!  This also has the benefit of making it impossible to lock balls, so no more nasty multiball wearing down your machine!
 
Et voila!  This also has the benefit of making it impossible to lock balls, so no more nasty multiball wearing down your machine!
  
 
[[File:Hurricane.jpg]]
 
[[File:Hurricane.jpg]]
 +
----
 +
'''Q.'''  Dear Dr Fixpin, I do not have a IEC/Kettle plug and I'm desperate to get this machine powered up, what should I do?
 +
 +
'''A.'''  Ah yes, IEC leads are next to impossible to find, so what you should do is strip the wires, twist them together and wrap them all up with Sellotape, as it's well known for it's electrical properties.
 +
 +
[[File:MainSellotape.jpg]]
 +
----
 +
'''Q.'''  Dear Dr Fixpin, I need to fit some new flipper plates and bats to my Whitewater, how should I do this?
 +
 +
'''A.'''  Ah, ok.  What you need to do is:
 +
 +
1.  The wrong coils, Gottlieb ones are best
 +
 +
2.  Don't bother with an EOS switch
 +
 +
3.  Attach the return spring to the wiring, it'll anchor better this way
 +
 +
I'll leave the rest of it for my eagle eyed viewers to spot
 +
 +
[[File:HorribleCoils.jpg]]
 +
----
 +
'''Q.'''  Dear Dr Fixpin,  chopblocks give me a full on Robot Chubby, like seriously.  Every time I see one of those sexy screw-eyed beasts I get a horses handbrake.  How can I get my pervy fix?
 +
 +
'''A.'''  Feast your eyes on this surprise, phwoar!
 +
 +
[[File:Chopblocks.jpg]]
 +
----
 +
'''Q.'''  Dear Dr Fixpin,  I need a few bits and bobs to repair some WPC driver boards.  I'm actually pretty good at soldering but I'm a massive, massive skintflint.  Suggestions?
 +
 +
'''A.'''  Well, we all know that things like transistors cost absolutely f*ckloads, like pennies each!  And they are near impossible to find, because you can't get them from a multitude of suppliers worldwide.  The best thing to do in this situation is to ruin a perfectly good driver board by taking all the components off of it:
 +
 +
[[File:WPC_Desoldered.jpg]]
 +
----
 +
'''Q.'''  Dear Dr Fixpin,  That last idea was fantastic, I was going to use the spare money I'd saved on treating my machine to new rubbers, do you know where I can buy any?
 +
 +
'''A.'''  Here's a tip, you can save yourself even *more* money by fixing up the rubbers that have snapped.  With my patented Dr Fixpin Ever-Last Staples™ you can keep on using those rubbers until they turn into dust!
 +
 +
[[File:Stapledrubber.jpg]]
 +
----
 +
 +
'''Q.'''  Dear Dr Fixpin,  Unfortunately my GI connector just keeps on burning, no matter how many fans I put on there or how much crazy black gunk I use to stick the connector back together with.  I need a more robust solution!
 +
 +
'''A.'''  Ok, for this one you'll need to put in an order of parts.  Don't be an absolute clown and order yourself a .156 crimper and some headers and pins, ooh no, that's definitely chump behaviour.  What you need to do in this situation is a more time consuming and completely useless job, using parts that aren't even close to being the correct ones.  This also has the benefit of making your WPC machine JAMMA compatible, so you can now <strike>play</strike> blow up JAMMA boards as well as play pinball!
 +
 +
Oh and solder both sets of wires to the same side of the connector, making the whole thing even more completely pointless and idiotic
 +
[[File:JammaJ120.jpg]]
 +
----
  
 
'''Remember,''' if you screw a post into it, it'll probably fix it.
 
'''Remember,''' if you screw a post into it, it'll probably fix it.

Latest revision as of 15:39, 22 April 2016

ExclamationPoint.jpg
Note: This page is a work in progress. Please help get it to a completed state by adding any useful information to it.


Broadly speaking, a hack is any repair work in the following categories.

  • Represents an irreversible change to the machine
  • Does not leave the machine as close to original as possible
  • Does not solve the problem it is intended to fix
  • Covers up other problems
  • Uses incorrect parts

Generally, operators want the machine working as fast as possible. And this need may occur when the necessary parts are not available. So anything goes. Collectors, on the other hand, want machines that are as close to original as possible, and have the time to locate and install the correct parts.

Hacks can also allow collectors to substitute for repairs that would otherwise be too complex. If these hacks are reversible, they are preferable to further damaging a machine.

Commercial pinball resellers vary greatly in quality. Some would never use a hack. Others are driven by the speed at which they can get the game out of the shop, and a hidden shortcut may be just what they needed. This is why it is important to inspect the boardset, playfield and insides of the machine for anything unusual before you buy it. There will always be something you will miss, but if you see something obviously incorrect, you can ask about it.

Here's a common WPC hack.

alt text

The WPC GI connectors, in most routed machines, suffer from connector burn. The current passing thorugh the GI pins heats them up, and if the machine has been operated in a warm place, can exceed the temperature rating of the connectors. The pins corrode, causing more heat emissions. The plastic browns and melts away, and the GI goes dim.

Here's a hack fix. The connector has been removed, and the wires soldered directly to the pins. Repair requires replacing the pins on the main board, and putting new connectors on the wires. This hack is fully correctible, but not what you want in your machine.

Bonus hack: wire across the fuse. That wire can carry a lot of current before it blows, and the GI circuit can deliver tens of amps. This is dangerous, a playfield short could now start a fire.




Ask Dr Fixpin

WARNING: Do not try any of these hacks at home, these are as their name states, a HACK! This is merely here for some humor and what NOT to do

Q. Dear Dr Fixpin. One of my fuses has blown and I don't have a spare, what should I do?

A. Duuur, wrap a wire around the blown fuse of course. The very adventurous can wrap it in foil or you can simply use an old screw. The current record by Dr Fixpin is 7 fuses with the wire 'trick' in a Gottlieb Freddy.

Update: The record now stands at 13 in a Super Mario Bros

Wirefuse.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a rare sample Williams Indiana Jones pin and I just can't get the flipper plates to stay on, no matter what I do. Help!

A. Don't worry, the quickest, prettiest and best method is to screw through the top of the playfield. You'll get much better grip as you screw down through the paint on the top. Also it adds an extra challenge to the player as the ball will randomly swerve around the screw. Don't be afraid to use more than one screw either:

ScrewIndy.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I suck at soldering, what should I do?

A. Don't worry, just flail the iron around and jab solder into it and you'll eventually get those wires connected!

BadSoldering.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I've sorted out the flipper problem on my rare Indiana Jones table, but it seems that the switch for the ball lock isn't working, is there an easy way to fix this?

A. Of course! The easiest fix is to simply screw a post in front of the ball lock, thus ensuring that no one can ever have another multiball. I can also recommend this method on the 'Casters club' on Fish Tales, but unfortunately I have lost the photographic evidence:

IndyPost1.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, some rascal has ripped the side art off of my "Theatre of Magic" and it looks horrible, is there a way I can touch this up?

A. Easy, just grab a can of black spray paint and pretend you are a graffiti artist. Don't worry about colour matching or fancy stuff like that, just spray on the letters that have been torn off.

BanksyTOM.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, it's me with the Indy Jones again. Now it seems that one of the jet bumpers isn't working. Can you take me though troubleshooting it?

A. No worries, simply pick up a screwdriver, some posts and screws. Now screw those posts all around the broken jet bumper, stopping that pesky ball from ever getting anywhere near it. It should now be fixed.

ScrewIndy2.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a Williams Fish Tales that has a few problems, I did have an issue with the casters club but a couple of posts screwed through the playfield fixed that right up! The problem I have now is that the GI connector keeps on overheating, what should I do?

A. Don't bother replacing the GI connector, that's for chumps. What you want to do is to screw a PC fan in the backbox, blowing cool air over the connector and fixing the problem forever! (please note that the fan had been moved for access by the time the picture was taken, they weren't trying to cool the driver board but the burnt GI connector).

FanFT.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, the fan idea was great! It makes me feel like I've got a Whirlwind as well as a Fish Tales! The problem now is that the connector has fallen to bits, what should I do?

A. Definitely don't bother buying/borrowing a crimp tool and replacing the connector, that would make baby jesus cry. Just get some weird looking black putty stuff and stick it back together again.

GiGOO.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, my WPC pinball keeps on resetting during a game, it's really annoying. I've heard that this is because the +5V is low. Is there a way to fix it?

A. First off, don't worry about the troubleshooting or fixing the +5v problem. The circuit that generates the +5V on WPC tables is really, really complicated. I mean, it's like 5 components or something that would cost $5 to replace. Your best bet is to just whack a PC power supply in there. And also don't worry about disconnecting the original +5V circuit, just solder on to the +5V and GND test points on the board. (I've seen this fix multiple times, it makes me weep inside each time.)

PCPSU.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I work in the Data East pinball division as an artist and I would like to know how to spell "Grand Prix'

A. Certainly, it's spelled "Gran Prix"

Mispelling.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, my mate who works at Data East says you are ace at spelling, could you tell me how to spell the word "Gauge"

A. Ah, you made the classic mistake there, the easy to remember rule is "A before U except after G", thusly

Gauge.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a Sega Frankenstein that is missing the metal rail behind the flipper and consequently the balls keep on getting stuck in there! I'm obviously too much of a cretin to fish around in the bottom of the cabinet to find it to reattach, so what are my repair options?

A. Stupid question, PUT A SCREW THROUGH IT. Better yet, put TWO in and use the biggest b*stards you can find.

FrankieScrew.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a World Cup Soccer which has a broken gearbox on the football, which means the ball no longer spins round. How would I go about rectifying this?

A. A missing gearbox, eh? Don't be a chump and actually *spend* the $50 or so to get a brand new replacement, that would be silly. You'd have to use Google for at least 45 seconds to find one as well. Nope, what you need to do is just use a pinball rubber. This has two benefits:

1. It'll work for about 50 seconds, which is a safety feature as it's likely to catch fire otherwise

2. It'll knacker the motor, so you'll be forced into buying that super expensive and hard to find gearbox and motor assembly

WCS.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I have a Williams Hurricane where the ferris wheel has stopped working. I'm completely clueless and would prefer the hardest and most time consuming repair option possible

A. Well, the stupid thing to do would be to just buy a new drive belt, as these are easily available, cheap and take about 20 minutes to fit. What you really, really should do is spend a couple of hours 'repairing it' for no good reason. Get the dremel out, cut the wheel in half then get the metal saw and riveter out and make yourself a new ramp.

Et voila! This also has the benefit of making it impossible to lock balls, so no more nasty multiball wearing down your machine!

Hurricane.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I do not have a IEC/Kettle plug and I'm desperate to get this machine powered up, what should I do?

A. Ah yes, IEC leads are next to impossible to find, so what you should do is strip the wires, twist them together and wrap them all up with Sellotape, as it's well known for it's electrical properties.

MainSellotape.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I need to fit some new flipper plates and bats to my Whitewater, how should I do this?

A. Ah, ok. What you need to do is:

1. The wrong coils, Gottlieb ones are best

2. Don't bother with an EOS switch

3. Attach the return spring to the wiring, it'll anchor better this way

I'll leave the rest of it for my eagle eyed viewers to spot

HorribleCoils.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, chopblocks give me a full on Robot Chubby, like seriously. Every time I see one of those sexy screw-eyed beasts I get a horses handbrake. How can I get my pervy fix?

A. Feast your eyes on this surprise, phwoar!

Chopblocks.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, I need a few bits and bobs to repair some WPC driver boards. I'm actually pretty good at soldering but I'm a massive, massive skintflint. Suggestions?

A. Well, we all know that things like transistors cost absolutely f*ckloads, like pennies each! And they are near impossible to find, because you can't get them from a multitude of suppliers worldwide. The best thing to do in this situation is to ruin a perfectly good driver board by taking all the components off of it:

WPC Desoldered.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, That last idea was fantastic, I was going to use the spare money I'd saved on treating my machine to new rubbers, do you know where I can buy any?

A. Here's a tip, you can save yourself even *more* money by fixing up the rubbers that have snapped. With my patented Dr Fixpin Ever-Last Staples™ you can keep on using those rubbers until they turn into dust!

Stapledrubber.jpg


Q. Dear Dr Fixpin, Unfortunately my GI connector just keeps on burning, no matter how many fans I put on there or how much crazy black gunk I use to stick the connector back together with. I need a more robust solution!

A. Ok, for this one you'll need to put in an order of parts. Don't be an absolute clown and order yourself a .156 crimper and some headers and pins, ooh no, that's definitely chump behaviour. What you need to do in this situation is a more time consuming and completely useless job, using parts that aren't even close to being the correct ones. This also has the benefit of making your WPC machine JAMMA compatible, so you can now play blow up JAMMA boards as well as play pinball!

Oh and solder both sets of wires to the same side of the connector, making the whole thing even more completely pointless and idiotic JammaJ120.jpg


Remember, if you screw a post into it, it'll probably fix it.